SONGBOOK
The New York Times Ain’t A-Changin’
Come ABC, BBC, CBC and Fox
They say no news is good news,
That’s coz your news shows suck
Joe Rogan’s been thinking outside of your box
While your channels' rapidly fadin’
Check out Free Domain Radio, it'll help you detox
Coz the New York Times ain’t a-changin’
Come, come, academics, all tenured and bland
And don't criticize what you don't understand
Jordan Peterson's words are beyond your command
And your ivory tower he is shakin’
That’s why he’s getting fresh, and you’re getting canned
But the New York Times didn’t even put his book on their bestsellers list so screw those guys
Come gather round students wherever you roam
And admit that the money you’ve spent has been blown
In the debt you've accrued you will sink like a stone
And it’s the leaves, not the cash, you’ll be rakin’
And for minimum wage while you pay off your loans
And the New York Times is run by unpaid 20-year-old interns so don't expect any help from those guys
Come scientists frightened of being the next James Damore
And explain why the gender pay gap is absurd
Gad Saad’s got the facts, and he won’t be deterred
It’s all the red pills he’s been takin’
And if we don’t go with Tesla we’ll be stuck with a Ford
(Doug Ford. It’s a Canadian joke. Google it.... Oh dear God! Is that a crack pipe?)
Come second-wave feminists, you’ve been round the block
You fled being punched, now you’re punching the clock
The executive suite had to make room at the top
And now the glass ceiling you're breakin’
But you kept the glass slipper, and that’s clearly a Croc
And the New York Times will have to make a major pivot before they run with that headline, I’ll tell you that for nothing
Come civil rights activists, I’m part of your clan
Let’s renounce this identity politics scam
Okay, okay, so I’m no longer Obama’s number one fan
But that doesn’t make me a racist
No, you can’t hide behind that, coz it's just a deep tan
And the New York Times? Well - good lucking covering that story
Coz the lines are redrawn and the truth is podcast
The little guy now will later be vast
And the President right now will be soon in the past
But the battle inside will still be ragin’
And one way or the other, the future’s gonna be a blast
And the New York Times ? What the fuck’s that? Never heard of it. Sounds like it's from days of yore. Horse drawn carriages and shit. The Old York Times. Oh - time for the news.
Joe Rogan: Hello Freak Bitches
The Amazing Donald-Trump
Donald-Trump, Donald-Trump
Ya gotta LIKE or you’ll have to LUMP
Spins a yarn - pants on fire!
Can’t impeach, he’s been hired
Look out!
Here comes the Donald-Trump.
When his tweets seem odd
That's coz he’s trolling the Squad
Omar fell for his plan
Now she’s banned from Iran
(or one of those places)
Donald-Trump, Donald-Trump
Made Obama look like a chump
Then he screwed both Kims, son and dad
Then he fucked Beijing and he impaled Vlad
Look out!
Here comes the Donald-Trump
Killed the Clinton's Double Bill
Drained the swamp on the Hill
Built a wall ‘round the States
And fixed Russia’s gate
(or something like that, I wasn’t really paying attention coz I spent the last two years playing Grand Theft Auto YEAH!)
Donald-Trump, Donald-Trump
He’s Quasimodo without the hump
Hurricanes? Knows it all!
Owes you bucks?
Can’t recall...
Look out!
Here comes the Trickster Trumpster
Life is a garbage dumpster
Fake news has spread like cancer
Can’t even trust the Hansard
Move over, Bernie Sanders
Sometimes there’s no right answer
That’s why I voted Trump!
If I Had A Hammer
If I had a hammer
I’d hammer in the morning
I’d hammer in the evening
All over this duplex
I’d hammer out warning
I’d hammer out danger
I’d hammer on the wall behind your head
when you’re trying to get to sleep at night
Oh, oh, all over this duplex
(The walls are like paper. Oops!)
If I had a bell
I’d ring it in the morning
I’d ring it in the evening
All over this land
I’d ring out danger
I’d ring out warning
I’d ring in the middle of your supper when you’re trying to feed your kids and sell you a subscription to Mother Jones Magazine
(Sixty weeks for a dollar? I'd be crazy not to buy...)
If I had a gun
I’d shoot it in the morning
I’d shoot it in the evening
All over this yard
I’d shoot out the street lights
I’d shoot at the mailman
I’d shoot at the cops in the cul-de-sac, they got the place surrounded, FUCK YOU COPPERS! You’ll never take me alive!
COME AND GET ME COPPERS!
(I always wanted to say that)
Now I’ve got a hammer
And I’ve got a bell
And I’ve got a gun
Right here in my hand
It’s a hammer from Walmart
It’s the bell on your smart phone
It’s a gun that I got at the gun fair, they didn’t do a background check, uh-oh! Now everybody’s gonna die! But hey, every-body's got to die. Even Pete Seeger had to die.
Exemption Song
Oh, the tax man come, he rob I
Wrecked my sole proprietor-ship
All to pay for the social justice
Turns out that’s a bottomless pit
But my hand has been made mighty
By the rise of Donald T.
We further in this election cycle
Trrri-ump-ant-ly
Won’t you help me sing
This song of tax freedom
Coz all I ever had
Exemption song
Tax exemption
Emancipate yourself from wage slavery
None but you can save your own hide
Waste no time on alternative energy
Coz nothing can stop the tide
For how long will they steal our profits
While we stand around and look?
All this mumbo-jumbo about economics
Just balance the fucking books
Won’t you help me sing
This song of tax freedom
Coz all I ever had
Exemption song
Tax exemption song
